Enlightenment, moksha, liberation, nirvana, I'm sure there are many more names across many different countries and cultures and religions for what it means to be truly free.
Now I am not an academic, quite the opposite in fact. I jumped from school, to study painting at art school, to becoming a yoga and mindfulness teacher, with various cleaning and shop assistant jobs in between just to keep me from starving. So just to be clear, this is not a smart well researched piece of writing, but merely an expression of my own understanding based on my spiritual journey up to this point.
So what does it mean to be free? What does it mean to you? I find the subject of freedom endlessly fascinating.
Does it mean freedom to do whatever you want to do? Travel wherever you want to go? Buy whatever you want to buy? Eat whatever you want to eat? Is that true freedom?
No of course it's not. It's a kind of freedom for the privileged few with money. Freedom is our birthright as humans, not something only for the rich. Freedom is for everyone.
As I write this from my modest yet safe, warm family home I realise I am privileged. I live in a society which mostly allows me to pursue my dreams and live my life reasonably well.
Of course our culture here in the UK is far from perfect. But I recognise that I am very lucky to have the ability to shape my life to a large extent. Not everyone has this freedom and I don't take it for granted. And yet it is not this kind of freedom I am talking about. The kind of freedom I am talking about can be found in the rich, the poor, the oppressed, the imprisoned, the healthy, the sick, the religious, the non-religious...everyone.
Does it mean freedom to speak your mind, to say whatever you like to people, to treat yourself, people, animals and the earth poorly? Well you do have the freedom to do that but that's not true freedom either. This kind of action arises from a feeling of separateness, an 'I can do this and it won't affect me' kind of attitude. Ultimately we have to ask ourselves what is at the root of our thoughts and our actions? What drives us? Even a noble quality such as generosity can come from a place of negativity such as a desire to be recognised for your good deeds. A kind act can be done with the expectation of getting something in return. This is not freedom and these acts will not lead to true happiness.
So we have to look a little deeper into ourselves in order to understand why we are the way we are. This is a spiritual undertaking and is what practices like yoga and mindfulness are all about. So why are we the way we are? Why do we act the way we do, say the things we say?
We have all been in a situation where we've done something and instantly regretted it. Oh why oh why did I do that? Why did I say that? On reflection maybe later you have worked out what you should've done. So how come you didn't do it? Yoga gives us the answer as being 'Samskāra'. Samskāra is the name yoga gives to our strong habit energies. Every human being has them but not every human being knows they have them. Most of us are like puppets being pushed around by these habit energies. Day in, day out, we are controlled by our fears, our longings, our tendency to avoid what we don't like and to cling to what we do like. To crave for things we think are going to make us happy such as money or new clothes, a car......our craving is endless.
Samskāras are with us from birth, inherited from our ancestors and passed down to us from our parents. As babies and children, we absorb everything from our parents. We learn from them. Subconsciously, we observe how they interact with others and how they respond to life's ups and downs. Without knowing it, we take on their fears, joys, likes, and dislikes. Even though our lives might take a different direction from our parents, these 'conditionings' are still present in the background.
To quote Thich Nhat Hanh in his book 'No Mud, No Lotus,' he says, "So if you have suffering in you and you don't know where it comes from, looking deeply, you may see that this is the suffering of your ancestors, passed down from one generation to another because no one knew how to recognize, embrace, and heal it. It's not your fault, nor is it theirs."
It makes me wonder what I'm passing on to my own kids but also inspires me to be more mindful around them.
Let's not put it all on the poor parents. Other influences shape us also. The events of our life good and bad most certainly have an impact, our friends, colleagues, our community, the environment in which we live. They all shape us.
Think of a habit energy as being like walking through a forest. The first time we walk through it, there is no path, however if time after time we continue to follow the same route, soon a well trodden path forms. It is the same with your habit energies. Lets say for example as a child you were always given a sweetie whenever you were upset. It is possible that as an adult you may keep returning to food as a source of comfort. This is one example of a samkāra. We are unknowingly held hostage by our own habits!
So what does it mean to be truly free then? True freedom is to cultivate enough presence of mind so as to be aware of our thinking, aware of our speech and aware of our actions. If we can be present enough to pause and maybe take a mindful breath before acting, speaking etc, then we then have the freedom to skilfully choose how we show up in the world. Freedom is freedom from our samkāras. It's a letting go of what is not real. It is true presence. And this freedom is accessible to us all, no matter our external circumstances.
It doesn't sound very dramatic or momentous but really this is a HUGE deal. I don't know many people who live this way. But this is where our practice of yoga and mindfulness is taking us. We can't force it but we CAN do it. It takes time, practice and lots of patience.
"The heart of the Buddha is in each of us. When we are mindful, the Buddha is there. I know a four year old boy who, whenever he is upset, stops what he is doing, breathes mindfully and tells his mommy and daddy, "I am touching the Buddha within". We need to take care of the healthy seeds that are in us by watering them every day through the practice of mindful breathing, mindful walking, mindfully doing everything. We need to touch the Buddha within us. We need to enter our own heart, which means to enter the heart of the Buddha. To enter the heart of the Buddha means to be present for ourselves, our suffering, our joys, and for many others. To enter the heart of the Buddha means to touch the world of no-birth and no death, the world where water and wave are one."
Thich Nhat Hanh from 'The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching'
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